Wasn’t I Supposed to Do Something?


To quote Homer Simpson: “You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: Never try.”

Yeah, about that.

I’m sure many of you aren’t surprised by the fact that Mike and I failed to run in the Marine Corps Marathon late last month. You know us. We talk a big game but when it’s time back up all that talk, we’re usually napping, eating, playing with Lightsabers, or planning our next move in our decades-long war against cats. We stink. Those of you that believed in us, let that be a lesson to you – Never believe in anything.

Seriously though, Mike and I missed the mark. There came a moment midway through October where I said to myself, “Paul, you are not in shape. You haven’t run consistently in months. You COULD still attempt to run this marathon and you COULD even finish. You also COULD die.”

After all this hype, I wasn’t going to go out there and turn in a 6 hour time. No chance. Not worth it.

Okay, what you are about to read is a list of excuses. Let me be clear on this – I take full responsibility for my failure. My failure is my own fault. That said….

Dude, it totally wasn’t my fault.

Over the last six months, I have had no less than four major MAJOR life milestones happen:

1). I got a new job. A big boy job. A 9-to-5 job. Not one of these work-25-hours-per-week-on-your-own-schedule journalism jobs. A REAL job. A leave-your-house-by-7:30-and-get-back-at-5:30 job. For most people, this is not a big deal. For me, it is a huge deal. Before June, I hadn’t consistently gotten up to an alarm clock since high school. Let me tell you, it sucked. I was constantly tired. Wanna know the first thing I did when I got home? That’s right, I took a nap. I’d wake up at 8 p.m. putz around for 3 hours and then go back to bed at 11:00 p.m. This was my schedule for like four months. I know what you are saying, “Hey, you still had time to run between 8 p.m. and 11 p.m.” Yeah well…..

2). I got married. Marriage is a beautiful thing. Sharing lives. Two become one. Establishing a lifetime bond with your soulmate. Wonderful stuff. Planning a wedding is than worse than crippled puppies. You wanna know what Satan does when he’s feeling down? He watches couples plan their wedding. I real pick-me-up for the Prince of Darkness. It’s a lot of work. That took up a poop-load of my time, especially during that last moth. Not to mention the Honeymoon. Who’s gonna think about running when there’s a $50 breakfast buffet waiting? Skinny people, thats who.

3). I bought a house. I know right. Little Paulie is getting all grown up. Moving and settling in to a new place takes time and energy. Not much time, but again, I was napping a lot.

4). Not ready to talk about #4. But let me give you a hint. It involves a surely monkey, an elaborate bait-and-switch, mistaken identity, and being banned for life from Canada.

Again, all these things on their own, not that time consuming. All these things crammed into a four-month period – very time consuming. Those are my excuses, couple that with the fact the Mike really did injure his ankle pretty good and I felt like we needed to raise the white flag and regroup.

That’s right, regroup. This isn’t over. Good thing about the Marine Corp Marathon? It happens every year.

2011 Marine Corp Marathon? You know it.

On Monday, I got back on the horse. No more pesky life changes to get in my way (except maybe some fallout from #4). I’ve had two productive 4-milers the past few days, bout a 10 min per mile pace. They were tough, but remember, I started this in May 2009 not being able to run more than 1/2 a mile without walking. All is not lost.

So here’s the deal. I’m fat again. Not FAT fat, but probably around 215 pounds. I don’t know for sure because I really don’t wanna step on a scale. I’m working on building up the courage. So there’s incentive in this – getting back to 185. That’s the key. When the weight starts coming off, I get obsessed. It’s all a very flimsy house of cards. When I run, I eat better. When I eat better, I lose weight. When I lose wait, I wanna run more. And so on.

To summarize. I sucked for not running the 2010 Marine Corp Marathon. I know this. I really am sorry to those that follow this blog and believed in Mike and I. I really am. But hey, this is going to happen. I will run a marathon.

2011, here I come.

2 Responses to “Wasn’t I Supposed to Do Something?”

  1. Momma Roberts Says:

    Team Captain of the Mike-Paulie Believers = Momma Roberts
    You both possess every gift to get to that ever-approaching finish line…….disciplined bodies/minds, strength, stubborn determination, i pods, humor, each other to egg on!!! Oh, and a ‘normal’ looking, non-fractured right ankle on my son.
    All Hail Team Roberts/Frommelt, play ON.
    With love, and money incentives on the Finish Line,
    Momma R

  2. Grizzly Bride and Damaged Pride « The Running Jerks Says:

    […] a blog I co-founded with Mike – since Nov. 17, 2010. Said blog post, which you can read here if you are so inclined, talks about my failure at running the 2010 Marine Corp Marathon. […]

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