Centreville’s Batman


You can bet your sweet ass I'm posting that Bug singing the Batman theme song later

I’ve had a goal to run 7 miles sometime this week. My runs on Monday (4.5 miles) and Tuesday (3.3 miles), while very good times for me, were run too hard and during the runs I knew wouldn’t be able to stretch them into 7 miles. Took Wednesday off. I didn’t really have the idea to run 7 miles today, thought more along the lines of 4.5 again or 5. I was tired going in, not really feeling it. But right around the first mile marker, as I was running by teenagers by the pool a thought exploded in my brain that would be my motivation to run 7 miles today.

If I ran 7 miles today, without stopping (previous best = 6 miles), I would be able to call myself Centreville’s Batman.

I googled it. No one has laid claim to it. I want it. I claim it. Done.

Every since I started taking running seriously, I’ve been running a good 4-5 times a week and always along the same path(s). I usually start my runs inside the neighborhood and end them with a lap or 2 around the perimeter of the neighborhood; running around Giant, past the Multiplex and back down the skirts of my fair neighborhood. Now with job in hand I’m usually found running around either 730, 830 or 930pm. A lot of the same people are also out and about doing their things. I’ve taken to either nodding, waving or smiling to every passerby.

I used to not do this but my outlook on life has changed so now I’m nice. I’m always seeing the same people nowadays and they all usually have the same “hes almost Mel Gibson crazy for running all the time in this muk” smile. Nonetheless, they know of me and my constant vigilance around the neighborhood.

Due to the sudden increase of rotten teenagers roaming the streets this time of year, it is my believe that all dog-walkers, stroller-walkers, regular-walkers, fast-walkers, walkers of all kinds really take solace in the fact when they see me or hear me coming. Why? Because of my age and size, I keep those damn teenagers in check. Compared to every 27 year old I may not seem that tall or big but to them I seem like an angry giant. Even in packs, they respect me. I’m always sure to give em either the stink eye …

or the evil eye …

On 2nd thought, that may be more of a Mean Muggin face

or just maybe the ‘best watch yourself’ face …

Whichever look I throw their way, it works. When I’m running around, they give respect and get well out of my way. They know when I’m running, I’m at the peak of my greatness and know very well not to run amok. I think this respect and fear is spreading throughout our neighborhood. When anybody sees that tall goofy white boy with the stupid bandanna slowly but menacingly making his way around the ‘hood, they know any previously planned injustice will have to wait because they know the only way I deal with funny business is with my fists.

Everyday I’m running a littler bit farther, getting better. Hopefully I’ll continue to get better. If not to get better for the marathon, at least to keep the walkers of  all kinds safe in my neighborhood.

Ya, I ran the 7 miles today, mostly thanks to thinking about being this neighborhoods Batman for most of the run. Now that I have a job and money to waste, thinking about making some Centreville Batman shirts made up to run in, ya know, to really hammer home the point. I even have my own Crime Alley I run by, there’s always kids smoking around they and they kinda scatter when I run by, its awesome. I’m gonna have to get bandannas with horns.

And now, as promised, a video that has no reason to make me laugh as hard as I do, a pug that can say Batman, ‘singing’ the ol Batman theme song

One Response to “Centreville’s Batman”

  1. Momma Roberts Says:

    bbbbbbbb Brilliant !!!!!!!!!!! Really, you should consider a book, together, get rich off your …. animal wit !!! This stuff is hysterical……….I wouldn’t miss a chapter, even watched the stupid Batman opening, (kinda cute). Keep it coming Boyzzzz!!!

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