I Hate My Ideas


Futurama_Fry_Looking_SquintIts no secret that I’m a simple being with moderate intelligence; I’m not crazy smart, but I can operate most microwaves. If I have one fault, its that I come up with stupid, stupid ideas. I’m lazy enough so that I don’t follow through with most of them, but the ones I do implement usually end in tears.

I believe I’ve documented my history (Manners Plans) of terrible ideas in other posts, but my recent idea of running 10 miles was a cake taker. I initially thought of doing it mainly to spite Paul (“Mr Run All The Time, Mr Weight Loss, oh ya, well I ran 10 miles, suck it!” was the jist of the plan).  I tipped my hat too early it seemed as he went and ran 10 miles shortly after. That should of been the end of that chapter and I should have moved on to more reasonable/less stupid plans.

For some reason, that 10 mile landmark stuck with me, kind of ate at me. I know I’m not capable of doing it, or doing it well. I guess I was under the thinking of ‘if I can do 10 now, I’m in great shape to do 26 in a year’. Not illogical, but kind of stupid and far fetched for my capabilities as of now.

I kind of tried once to do it, but got locked out of my house and lost motivation. Gave it another shot at 330 in the morning on a rainy icky day with Paul. But that was after a solid day of drinking for me (it was my birthday) so you can surmise how that ended.

Tomorrow (Saturday, 10/24) is the Nike Human Run thingy thing, where everyone who signed up for the whatever nonsense is running a 10K. I don’t know if I’m “signed up” officially yet (I really should check on that) but I’ve been mentally signed up for awhile now. Our coach/leader dude said to have a easy run on Thursday and rest Friday for preparation.  “Cool, I can do that” thought Mike.

I was a little excited about my run on Thursday because I quit smoking on Sunday night (at 8:32, cold turkey, for public record) and wanted to reap the benefits of clean(er) lungs. I’d end up setting a couple personal bests on this run.

It was just an amazing October night, weather wise which always gets me juices going. I left the house at 10:15pm and looking to avoid any past problems, I left my house key under a  sock I dropped on Sunday by the front door. I wanted to get some immediate results from the non smoking thing,  so I set out really wanting to get a personal best in longest run before first walk, which I actually did. I did 3.0 miles before my walk, which was cause for 2 fist pumps.

That was my first goal of the run. My second was not not really adhere to coach/leader persons  advice and have the longest run of my illustrious career. With the 10K approaching in 2 days (which I’m told is 6 miles-ish) and my personal best is 5 miles, I figured I’d do 6 miles now so that Saturday wouldn’t be that hard. It was pretty tough, but I did the 6 miles with a pretty kick ass time for me, somewhere in the ball park of 6.15miles at 1hr7min.

It was here where that stupid idea came rushing back into my head. “Just do another 4 miles now, get that 10, you’ll never be this close ever again!”. Egads, I murmured, I’m right, I’ll never be so close, I better do it now. So I tried again for 10. But almost immediately, at mile 6.3, the bottom of my right foot felt like I stepped on a chainsaw. Terrible pain right on the bottom of the foot, near the arch. I tried to walk it off, with a noticeable limp. I stopped to stretch it out, pretty much anything to get rid of the pain because now I was pumped to do 10 miles. I walked till about mile marker 7. With a little pain still emerging with every step, I took of my shoes and took my ankle brace from the left foot and moved it over to the new king of annoying me. It was a nice symbolic move, a passing of the torch if you will.

The brace and my right ankle don’t really see eye to eye. I tried wearing it on righty once with some not fun results. There’s some plastic part on the brace that really digs into the side of the foot. I still have a bruise there from 2 1/2 weeks ago. Anyhoo, it qwelled some of the pain, enough for me to keep running at a reeeaalll slow pace (12min per mile pace).

At this point, I didn’t care if I screwed up my right foot for a long time, I just wanted this 10mile run as a feather in my cap. If this whole running experiment ended tomorrow, I wanted to say at one point I ran 10 miles, which for no good reason I think is cool.

The remainder of the run was brutal. My mind was trying to get me to stop every .2 miles (I obligated on some occasions), My foot was trying to get me to lie down, and group of deer I saw on every lap were mean muggin me.

The last 2 miles were really tough for me, but fucking A, I finally did it. I did the 10 mile run. 10.01 miles, 1hr58min, 11min46sec pace. 1407 calories burned. I lost some good time switching the brace and stretching, but my thinking throughout was anything under 2 hours was a good enough time for me.  As I type this, the side of my right foot is pretty swole but walking on it is not the worst pain in the world. The outter part of my right knee is causing some discomfort with every step, so I guess thats a preview of more fun pain to deal with in the coming months.

I checked my email and the Nike+ website, and apparently I’ve already gotten credit for running the 10K that everyone’s doing tomorrow, so that fills me with utter glee.

Congratulations on finishing the Nike+ Human Race 10k. Your time was 1:57’48”. You averaged 11’46″/mi. Absolutely outstanding.

Ha. Suck it suckers who are waiting for tomorrow.

10 mile run. Quit smoking. Eating healthy. Looks like I might be taking this seriously.

3 Responses to “I Hate My Ideas”

  1. Mom Roberts Says:

    YAWW~ZAAHH Michael!!!!!!!!!!! Toooo funnny and crazy(the pain part), but a loud YEYA for you my sonshine!!!

    I’m not only impressed to the extreme extent, but you motivated me to keep going on my own (faltering) quest to achieve perfection!!! I’m overwhelmed that you quit, thank God, and awe struck that you’re setting those lofty goals and surpassing them!!!

    CONGRATULATIONS Mikey, SO proud, I love you

  2. runkerarun Says:

    Wow, quitting smoking and running a sub-2 hour 10 miler, that’s awesome!! Have you found it difficult to quit and keep it that way? Or has running helped eliminate some cravings? Either way, good work!

    • Mike Roberts Says:

      its always hard to quit, or so they say. Its easy for me because my strategy is if I don’t buy em I can’t smoke em. Running is helpful in the way that if you get a craving, you can fight it with the thought that giving in would make running harder. the difference between running as a smoker and a non smoker is night and day, and once you’ve seen the light (as a non smoker), you don’t want to go back.
      Thanks for reading! I checked out your blog as well and it’s awesome, keep it up!

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