What? Huh? Uh, Oh.

by

Update: Mr. Michael J. Stango sends along this unfortunate news. It’s an epidemic people.

Arrested_Development_-_Good_Grief2

Earlier in the week, I was reading the sports second of my favorite periodical of note, the Baltimore Sun and I saw a nice little writeup on the 2009 Baltimore Marathon.

A defending champion was overthrown in the men’s competition at the Baltimore Marathon on Saturday, and a new event record was set in the women’s. Alphonce Yatich of Kenya took first place overall in the marathon with a time of 2 hours, 14 minutes, 4 seconds – the second-best time in the race’s history.

That’s nice. Good story. What’s this? It continues?

Yatich ran his fastest pace (4:33) in the 20th mile and was able to gain a 15-second lead over Keter. Long strides kept Yatich in first, and despite the 21st mile being his slowest (6:05), he had left Keter behind for good. Yatich ran the final five miles as the leader, with his closest competitor more than a minute behind. Macharia finished second in 2:15:53 and won $10,000, followed by Nyabuti ($6,500), Joseph Chirlee of Kenya ($4,000) and Samuel Ndereba, also of Kenya ($3,000).

Man, that Yatich character really runs fast, and look, people win money! This is fun. Let’s scroll down further…

A 23-year-old male runner collapsed during the marathon and later died, the second death during the marathon’s nine years, event organizers and officials said. The runner’s name was not released.

Buster

WHAAAAAAAAAA? People die during marathons? Why wasn’t I informed? I thought running was good for the body. I thought people run to lengthen their life expectancy. Surely these two deaths in the nine years of the Baltimore Marathon are isolated incidents. Oh look, an article from the San Francisco Chronicle:

Two runners, both in their 30s, died Sunday while racing the Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon in San Jose. Race organizers were not releasing their names, but the Santa Clara County coroner identified the runners as Brandon Whitehurst, 35, of Antioch, and Rose Lo, 34, of South San Francisco. The coroner’s office has not yet determined how they died.

Come. On. A half marathon?

Some studies have estimated roughly 1 death per 50,000 runners.

Talk about buyer’s remorse. I might as well take up a new hobby. What about skydiving? Swimming with sharks? I’d probably be safer. In fact, here’s a handy list of things less dangerous than running a marathon.

  1. Skydiving
  2. Smoking
  3. Dating a superhero
  4. Boxing
  5. Being a patient of Dr. Conrad Murray
  6. Swimming with sharks
  7. Jumping the shark
  8. Climbing Mt. Everest
  9. Falling in love with a vampire
  10. Attending a Great White show
  11. Drunk driving without a seatbelt
  12. Sass-talkin’ Mike Tyson
  13. Sitting on the couch and not caring that you are 50 pounds overweight and enjoying another helping of cheese fries with bacon. Bacon you ask? Of course! Unlike running, bacon is good for me.

Hey, have you donated to the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America yet? Click here to find out how to sponsor me for the 2010 Marine Corp Marathon. I’ve currently raised $545.00. My goal is $2,000!

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