Oh, So Thats How You Do It



Whew, it’s been awhile. This blog is starting to turn into The Running Jerk and That One Guy Who Posts Every Blue Moon. No good reason for not posting in almost a month. I’m really lazy. I haven’t run in a couple weeks. I ran 2 days in a row the last time I did then started having random ankle pains, in both sides, not just limited to the left one who’s been getting too much screen time.

Every now and then I’d be getting random throbbing/shooting pains in my right ankle (the good ankle), usually when I woke up. This made absolutely no sense to me, because if there’s one thing I’m good at, its sleeping. How can I hurt my ankle while sleeping? It was very odd, perplexing even, so I sent Detective Mike on the case (its just regular Mike + more puzzling looks and chin stroking).


After a couple days of not waking up to mysterious pains, I figured I was due, so to rule out my only hunch (sleepwalking) I stacked a few large white bins in front of my door. Stupid Sleepwalking Mike would surely have to knock down the Tower Of Dumb (I made it, I name it) to get by and do whatever Sleepwalking Mike does. I’ve never been accused of sleepwalking or anything like that, I was merely doing this to rule out something I’ve never done, which makes sense only to me. The Tower Of Dumb stood tall for a couple attempts, so I for sure don’t sleepwalk, which is nice to know. I thought about recording myself when I sleep, but that really creeps me out so since Robert Stack is dead, this will remain an Unsolved Mystery (I’m not sure The Mystery of the Morning Ankle Pain would have made for good tv anyway).


Really random and pointless stories aside, I used this paper-thin excuse to sit for a couple weeks (honestly, I was not motivated and very lazy). Finally got my lazy butt out of the house today to run. Something about the weather at night around this time of the year; I love it, I like to run on a crisp night. I hate running when hot or muggy, but give me some cold weather and I’m out there running. It was nippy enough to bring a hoodie along for the run.

One thing that really motivated me to run was music. I got the new Dethklok album (don’t worry, no ones heard of em, they’re a cartoon metal band. Exactly.) and it rules. It gets me all sorts of pumped. I’ve only gotten to listen to it in the car, so running is a new excuse to listen to it. So, excited as all get out, I start running at 10pm, nice and nippy outside, got my Death Metal music destroying whats left of my hearing, and around the first quarter mile (where I usually decide what path/route I’m gonna run and for how long) the craziest damn idea jumped in my head. I’ll save the finer details of this for another blog post, but basically my body comes up with ideas and its up to the brain to approve/veto them before anything can be done. Brain usually haggles when distance comes into play, usually lowering initial idea a couple miles or so.

Body is feeling good, weather is awesome, music is great, so the idea of running 10 miles gets thrown out there. Almost without debate or thought, Brain agrees. It would be a fierce, troubling struggle to do it, but I wanted to push myself. I was ready and able. I’ve never done more than 5 miles at one time, so the next logical step is 10 I guess. I was willing to keep pushing with minimal walking.

With that in mind I started with a very slow pace. Usually, I run too fast for my own good, somewhere in the ballpark of 8’30” – 9’30” per mile pace. Which is why I always burn out quickly and walk a lot on my runs. I decided to go a (what felt like) grandpa like pace of 10’30” – 11′ pace. It was working, feeling good, not wheezing or anything. I went 2.6 miles before my first walk (my old best was 1.25 miles before first walk), which is really good for me. I was proud. But I was also getting quite hot.

I was wearing my heaviest hoodie, the rest is in the laundry. After the first mile and a half, the hoodie was becoming a detriment to the run. I thought about taking it off and tying it around my waist, but I really really didn’t want to be that guy. I thought about chucking it in a bush and coming back later, but I figured since I thought of that idea that it was a stupid idea.

I did some mental math and figured a path I could do where I can stop by the house real quick, drop it off, and still do a 10 miler. So I get back to the house after doing 4 miles and only walking for 30 seconds once. I’m jazzed to try and do the rest, where usually after 4 miles I want to punch a baby. I figure I’ll give myself a minute to get rid of the hoodie and the stupid Dr. Shool things in my shoes that are giving me terrible blisters. Get to the front door and its locked. Knock on the door, no answer. Knock 2-3 more times, no answer. Getting bitter that my minute is way up. I run out back to see if the back door is open. Nope. Run back to front door, more knocking more no answering. Starting to sweat, I’m thinking fat roommate #1 went to sleep during the run and fat roommate #2 doesn’t get home till like 3am. Keys and cell are in house. Guh. 10-15 minutes to by, I’m real bitter because this is a long rest and pretty much nullifies the 10 mile run. Eventually I knock and yell hard enough to wake up the fat giant but by this time I’ve lost my zeal and both ankles are screaming pretty loudly.

So I guess that was a blessing in disguise because if I went through with my plan I would have done more harm than anything else. Oh well, I had the drive for once, and that’s a step in the right direction. Hopefully I’ll try again next week. My run was 4.01 miles, 42:30, 10’34” per mile, 565 Cal burned. So in the end, I would have pretty much gotten the same time as if I run harder and walked more.

If you’ve made it this far (1100+ words), you deserve a medal or a free pizza. That was a lot of rambling and nonsense.

3 Responses to “Oh, So Thats How You Do It”

  1. Note To Self: Running is Still Hard « The Running Jerks Says:

    […] few weeks ago, Mike made a play at running 10 miles. At first I thought, “He’s crazy! Why is he even thinking about running that […]

  2. Witty Nuggets for your Reading Pleasure « The Running Jerks Says:

    […] know how it happened, but Mike was all jazzed to go for a run. He wanted to go 10 miles (as you remember, he’s kinda obsessed with running ten miles). We lasted about three miles, then walked home. […]

  3. We’re Gonna Run, I Swear « The Running Jerks Says:

    […] Mike and I know I’ve written this post once or twice before. Time isn’t my friend anymore and I’m actually excited to run this […]

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