The Most Motivating Picture Ever Taken


WildThingGoatA lot of people have told me that my success with running has motivated them to start running. They’re basically saying, “If this lazy zilch can get in shape, surely I can.”

Believe me though, those first few weeks are tough. But fear not gentle reader, I have just what you need to stay motivated.

The picture to your right is a publicity photo from the upcoming Spike Jones adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s “Where the Wild Things Are.” Look how disappointed that goat creature is! You wanna know why it’s so upset? It’s because you didn’t run. Man, look at the pain in it’s eyes. All it wants in this world is for you to pound the pavement and you didn’t. Such disappointment. You should be ashamed.

Seriously, this will actually keep me motivated. I really don’t want to make this Wild Thing upset.

Suggested captions for added motivation:

“Me and your mother are very cross with you.”

“You know I was planning on making my human-sweat stew tonight! Without the sweat, what are we going to do, hmmm? Forget it, we’ll just go to Burger King.”

“You know heart disease runs in the family. We may have multiple hearts, but you don’t. Don’t expect me to give you one of mine when your’s gives out, even if we are a perfect match.”

“Beyonce didn’t win Best Female Video at the VMAs because YOU DIDN’T RUN. You know how much I love Sasha Fierce!”

“Max always used to get his cardio workout in. God! I wish Max was still here. He never disappointed me.”

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