Okay, So I Got Fat: Part I

by

Nipple Frosting I

Why am I doing this?

Well, for the abridged version… I got fat. Like really fat. Like embarrassed to take my shirt off fat. And it’s not like it snuck up on me either. I’ve been moderately overweight since sophomore year of college and have stayed around 230-240 for the past four years. I just never had the drive to change anything.

That is until my “come to Jesus” moment on May 1st, 2009.

Now there were signs that things had gotten out of hand. Pictures from my friend’s wedding last Spring showed that my girlfriend attended said wedding not with her boyfriend, but pile of blubber that came a’calling when he heard about the buffet. When I needed to get a new suit for my younger brother’s confirmation, I was fitted for size 40 pants. I promised myself I would never hit that milestone and entertained the notion of walking into the church sans pants.

But on May 1st, things got real real.

It was late at night and I had just finished a fine day of work. I sitting at the computer, no shirt of course, and was trolling around the internet for comic book gossip and funny monkey pictures. For some reason (fallen gummy bear?) I looked down at my belly as was appalled. Something clicked. I had never thought of myself as fat. Sure, I was kinda tubby in “more to love” kinda way. But this stomach was just obscene.

Of course, the first thing that I did was log on to facebook and broadcasted my grief.

“Paul Frommelt just realized that he is physically disgusting. Why didn’t anybody tell me?”

Of course this was an opportunity for my friends to poke a little fun, which was funny, but the sad fact remained. I had let myself go in a big bad way.

Next time: Paul implements phase I and II of his plan…

sidebyside

5 Responses to “Okay, So I Got Fat: Part I”

  1. Darby Says:

    While I maintain that neither of you have become fat or gained weight in a way that makes you unattractive, I am in total support of this for a number of reasons because I am naturally a very selfish person. Firstly, I love running buddies. Also, I don’t like smoke in my eyes, so if you end up quitting that is a plus. Lastly, your love of beer makes ME fat when I come home to visit. Carry on… that is all…. I’m so proud!

  2. Neil Says:

    Well from the pictures it looks like when you keep the frosting on your body instead of in your mouth you stay skinny. But then again if it were not for the frosting in the first place you may not be in this pre-dick-ament. You should have used fat free yogurt in the first place!

  3. Paige Says:

    Ya’ know what’s BRILLIANT about this plan? Making this website THIS public that quitting would involve embarrassment and shame, and “I told you so”s from the naysayers… Rock on I say! I’d like to insert another two cents in here as well: it’s not so much that you’ve gotten “fat,” it seems moreso you’ve gotten really, REALLY white… Tan is the new slim ya’ know…

  4. B.J. Says:

    i love it when people say “come to jesus.” that’s what I’m taking away from this.

  5. Ruminating on Fifty « The Running Jerks Says:

    […] to run was to lose weight. I mean, I started this blog with a three-part epic about how I got fat (here, here and here). And I appreciate the genuine excitement that people have for my weight loss. […]

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